The Seed of Hope

...about feeling God.

…about feeling God.

Have you ever felt God’s presence, either around you, or with you, or in you?

I’m not asking if you believe in God, or if you have faith in Him, or if you can wrap your mind around the concept of the Trinity, as in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I’m not asking you if you know that He’s with you, or if you know that He’s everywhere, of if you know that He’s in you. These are things that you’ve read, or heard, or have been taught.

What you believe, and what you know, are all matters of faith. You should know by now that I love talking about matters of faith, but we’re gonna save that topic for another day. On this particular day I want to talk to you about feeling the presence of God.

A Strange Place is the title of a post that was made a couple of weeks ago, in which I made several references to the fact that I was a bit unsettled because I hadn’t felt God’s presence in several weeks.

I received a lot of feedback from that post, and it was from that feedback that I came to realize a few things that I’d never considered before and something that I had forgotten… 

For the past six weeks, my wife Jackie and I have been hosting a small Bible/fellowship/discussion group in our home. During one of those meetings, I shared my feelings of frustration with our group. It was during a conversation afterwards that Greg, a good friend and co-leader of the group, confided to me that he had never really felt the presence of the Holy Spirit.

“Why not?” was the question that immediately crossed my mind, but I didn’t voice it aloud to Greg; I didn’t want to put him on the spot. Besides, I believed that it was a question that I was supposed to answer for myself.

Why don’t more people feel God’s presence?

I spent the next several days trying to answer the question. I’ll confess that while there was no sense of emergency to find an answer, the question never really left me. During prayer and meditation; Why not? During the day at work; Why not? Watching T.V. with Jackie; Why not?

The answers to the question actually came to me when I was looking back over my shoulder, as in reflecting on the man I was four years ago. I’m gonna throw all of them out there; perhaps you can relate to one or more (I can relate to all of them!). And I’ll preface what I’m going to tell you by saying that FEAR is at the root of every one of the answers.

Actually, there’s only one primary answer to the question:

Quite simply, and quite truthfully, I never tried to feel His presence. Oh, I asked for His help, especially during the hard times. I’d pray, and go to church, and receive the Eucharist, and fast during Lent, and do all the things that I was supposed to do; the things that I was taught to do. I never knew that I could actually feel Him, and all I had to do was ask. All those years…I just didn’t know to ask.

There are a few other things that stand between many of us and God.

·         We don’t seek his presence because we don’t think that we’re worthy of being in his presence. I feel that the worthiness issue is a huge stumbling block for most of us. We’re too busy looking over our shoulders at what we may have done in the past. We figure that there is no way that God could excuse us for some of the things we’ve done.

If that’s your line of reasoning, I’m gonna offer you one example that’ll blow your theory out of the water. For those of you not familiar with the Bible, I want to tell you in brief about this guy named Saul, who lived in Jesus’ time here on earth.

Saul was a Roman citizen whose primary purpose in life was persecuting Christians, and not just in the sense of dealing out orders for punishment. Yes, I’m talking about death sentences. This guy was responsible for the deaths of many Christians. In the eyes of God, how much worse can you get?

One day Saul is on the road to a town called Damascus with some of his men. At some point in his journey, he gets knocked off his horse, is blinded by a bright light, and hears the voice of God calling him.

At that moment, Saul’s life was changed. Saul went on to be an amazing servant of the Lord, and in fact played a huge role in the spread of Christianity. He healed the afflicted, and raised the dead! He also went on to be one of the largest contributing writers of the Bible. Don’t really recognize the name? Oh, I forgot to tell you. He changed his name to Paul.

What if Saul had deemed himself unworthy?

·         FEAR! I think that many of us fear God’s presence because, well because He’s GOD. It’s almost as if we’re afraid that He might see who we really are, and even worse, all those dark secrets that we tuck away in the recesses of our minds. I’m not trying to be cynical, but come on; He knows what’s in our minds as soon as we think it! (Probably sooner.)

I believe that the fear factor is even stronger when we think about being in the presence of the Holy Spirit. I won’t go into depth on this topic because it would be an entire post in and of itself. Today, I’m not gonna talk about the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which includes Healing and Tongues. It’s the Tongue one that scares a lot of us, isn’t it? Our fears tend to makes us forget that the Holy Spirit is also, among other things, our Comforter, our Sustainer, and our Strength.

·         Many of us won’t allow ourselves to step outside the box of conventional religion. It goes back to what we learned as children from our parents, our churches, and our own personal experiences. Our minds won’t allow us to seek God in a different way, and it’s our own fears that are at the core of our reluctance to change.

If you believe that you’ve never felt God’s presence, or if you’re not sure, would you try something for me? This won’t take very long, and I pray that you’ll find it to be well worth the effort. And you don’t have to be in church to do it…

The first thing that I’d like for you to do is have one or two of your favorite worship songs ready to play. Don’t have any music at home? That’s okay. If you’re reading this post it tells me that you know how to use a computer. Visit www.Pandora.com and type in your favorite artist. If you don’t have a favorite artist, and are ready to broaden your horizons, just type in Hillsong United or Chris Tomlin. Either offers my favorite genre of worship music, not always for the melodies, but for the words.

Next, find a quiet place in your home, and say a prayer, asking God to forgive you for any and all things you’ve done in the past that were offensive to Him. Ask Him to remove any mental barriers that may prevent you from feeling Him. Tell Him that you want to feel His presence in you. Invite Him in. Prepare yourself mentally to feel Him.

Now cue up the music. When it begins playing, wait for Him. It doesn’t matter if you know the music, or the words; just let go and lose yourself in it. Look, if you really want to feel Him, do us both a big favor, and tell Him! Tell Him that you want to be with Him, that you want to feel the nearness of Him. You see, all that He’s waiting for is an invitation from you.

Then close your eyes and open both your heart and your mind. Be still, and be patient. He’ll show up; He always does. It may be in an earth-moving, heaven-shaking, or time-stands-still way when you feel Him the first time. Then again, it may seem to be nothing more than a gentle touch, or a tingle that runs up your spine, or the hairs on your arms standing straight up.

But when it happens, you’ll know it. And you’ll want to feel it, His presence, again and again and again. And life, as you know it now, will never be the same.

See you next week.   

A Strange Place

A Strange Place

I’m in a strange place…

I’m in a room with no light, yet it isn’t dark.

I’m standing in a crowd of people, yet no one is there.

Everything around me looks familiar, yet nothing is the same.

I have so much to say and so much to share, yet the words I need are elusive and seemingly just beyond my “mind’s eye.”

I know that God is in my heart, yet I don’t feel His presence.

I’m me, but I’m not me. I’m afraid. I’m frustrated. I’m alone. I’m sad. I’m desperately trying to get out of this strange place. I’m trying to get back on the path; the path that’s illuminated by His light. I’ve been this way, been in this strange place, for the last month. I long to feel the way that I’ve felt for the last four years, since that day in August of 2006 when I was born again.

“GOD, where are You?” I cry out, trapped in my self-made mental prison.

What happened?

I blamed where I was, and how I felt, on being “burned out.” I’d been working hard, and had extended myself a bit too much, or as some like to say, I had “spread myself a bit too thin.” We’d had several personnel changes in our business. We hadn’t had a vacation in two years. Between my wife Jackie, and our family, and work, and church, and The Seed of Hope, there never seemed to be time for rest. Oh, did I forget to mention chasing after God every day, trying to love Him more, and to know Him more, and to see His face more, and to serve Him more? And along the way, trying to be the best Christian that I could possibly be, which we know isn’t always that easy?

Yep, I was burned out, plain and simple.

Eleven days away from our salon, off with Jackie, and spending some time with our family, would do the trick. There would be some quiet time, which meant time for reflection and prayer. I’d reconnect with God, and rekindle that flame for Him that always burns inside, and everything would be great.

A couple of days off and I’d be good as new. I’d crank out some stuff for The Seed of Hope and tell you how great I felt, and how good life was, and how I’d found the compassion that was missing, and how I’d recaptured my “lust for life.”

Guess what?

It didn’t happen.

Don’t get me wrong; it was such a blessing to be “unplugged” and away with Jackie for a while, as it always is. God certainly smiled on me when He put Jackie in my life…

During that time we were able to visit our son Brian and his wife Christina in Virginia, and upon our return spend some time at the lake with our younger son Christian, his wife Amber, and our grandchildren Stephen and Isabella. We had a great time with all of them, made some lasting memories, and experienced several “Kodak Moments.”

There was indeed time for reading, prayer, and meditation.  

We even had the opportunity to host a small church group in our home on Saturday night, and then attend church with our kids the next day. I’ll admit that I did indeed feel God’s presence during both, but not with the intensity that I’ve become accustomed to. And soon as each came to a close, the feeling of God’s nearness was gone. Just like that.

“What’s going on?” I asked time after time. “Have I done something wrong?” “Have I lost my passion for God completely?” “Did someone put a curse on my prayer chair?” “Am I missing something here?”

If you’re thinking that I was alarmed, well, you’re exactly right! I was very alarmed. You see, I remember what it’s like to walk without God’s presence, and I can’t even bring myself to think about my life without Him in it.

The last day…

Today is Tuesday, the last day of our vacation. I woke up at 5:15 this morning to attend a men’s small group through church that meets in our salon each week at 6:15. I went to that small group still looking for the answer to the question “God, where are you?”

I felt God’s presence during the meeting, but again, without the intensity to which I’ve become accustomed. And just as before, when the meeting was over the feeling was gone.

I went back home to have coffee with Jackie, and to share our reading of today’s passages from The One Year Bible guide published by Church of the Highlands here in Birmingham. I was hoping to find a nugget of truth in The Word that might provide some answers to my questions. No such luck; the readings were from 1 Chronicles, Acts, Psalms, and Proverbs. While I enjoying reading all of the passages, none of them gave me any insight into my problem.

Next I turned to The One Year walk with God Devotional, written by Chris Tiegreen. I actually needed to read the messages from the past two days, because we didn’t take the time to read them yesterday.

Both days were devoted to the same passage, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, and despite its length, I’m gonna share all of it with you.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Thank you Solomon for writing Ecclesiastes.

Thank you, Chris Tiegreen, for writing The One Year walk with God.

Thank you God, for leading me to both writings.

A Dry Season

If you think about the passage for a moment, you’ll realize that there is indeed a time, a season for everything, and with those seasons, come change. While some of the “times” mentioned may not apply to us literally, they all certainly do in a figurative sense; all of them. Some of these seasons are filled with God’s Abundance, and oh so sweet, while some are everything but.

I’ve heard of people going through spiritual “dry seasons.” During these times, prayers don’t seem to be as powerful, meaningful, or in many cases, necessary at all. Relationships suffer. Life isn’t as “sweet.” Priorities change. God seems to be distant.

Hmmm…

I believe, (and I pray that I’m right) that I’m going through one of those dry seasons right now. The funny thing is that every time I heard warnings about dry seasons, I always thought “That’ll never happen to me. I pray every morning, and I go after God every day, and I’m a soldier of Christ, and I’m a light that shines for Him, and I’m always vigilant against attacks from the enemy.”

Yet here I sit, in my prayer chair, struggling to get through this now identified dry season. At least I know what it is! God is still here…with me…in me. I haven’t done anything wrong. I haven’t lost my passion for Him, or my love for people. I’m not missing anything.

And I’m not giving any credit to Satan for this. I didn’t stumble, or fall, or go astray. This is not his handiwork at all.

What I’m going through right now is a gift from God. He has seen fit to give me another season of change, and when I get through this (I will get through it!) I’m gonna be one step closer to Him and one step closer to fulfilling His plan for me.

I apologize for the length of today’s post, but as is often the case, as I’ve written I’ve learned even more about myself, life, and God’s Way.

And if I haven’t done so in a while, I want to thank you for accompanying me on this journey. And I pray that, even if in a very small way, it helps you on yours.

See you next week!

What I'm asking God for...

Last week the Church of The Highlands, located here in Birmingham, began a period of prayer and fasting which would last for three weeks. This period is simply and fittingly referred to as Twenty-One Days of Prayer. Having taken part in Twenty-One Days this past summer (without the fasting), during which I had experienced a tremendous amount of spiritual growth, I had been eagerly looking forward to the first day, January 10^th.

So I sit here today, having just returned from church, on the ninth of those twenty-one days, pondering what it is that I most want to share with you. I could talk about giving up desires of the flesh, by fasting from meats, caffeine, sweets, breads, and dairy products. There’s rolling out of bed at 5:00 A.M. Monday through Friday to attend the prayer service at 6:00, gathering with hundreds of other people chasing after God. There’s the amount of spiritual growth that God has blessed me with during this first week. All of these topics may be the core of another day’s post, but not this one.

Today I want to talk about my expectations going into this period of prayer and fasting. Well, not necessarily my expectations, but more of what I was going to pray to God for…what I was going to ask of Him. For weeks leading up to the Twenty-One Days, I had actually been praying to God to give me clarity as to what I should be praying for…

There’s my wife Jackie, and our family, and our business, and those that work in it. I could ask God to help me to be a good husband, father, friend, mentor, and leader. I could pray that God continue to open doors for The Seed of Hope to reach others. I could pray to Him for financial prosperity. I could pray for the needs of others…for our city, our state, our country. I could, quite simply, pray to Him for direction in my life.

It wasn’t that I only had one shot to make it count. I could, and would, offer prayers for all of those things, knowing that God would hear every one of them. But I wanted to go into this period asking God one particular thing for me; my personal request.

I turned to the Bible.

Now, if you know me, you know that I’m not that well-versed in the Bible. I just began reading it a couple of years ago, and in that time, I’ve discovered that it’s the closest thing to having a real conversation with Jesus. So I look to the Word for guidance and direction in my life, and more often than not, I find what I need.

The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord—and he will delight in the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:2-3 (NIV)

To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.    1 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NIV)

I read both of these passages once, twice, and then a third time.

I was going to ask God for the Seven Spirits of the Lord, as found in Isaiah. I was going to ask God for the Gifts of the Spirit, as found in 1 Corinthians. I was going to ask God to favor me with spiritual abundance.

Above all else, I was entering those Twenty-One Days of Prayer seeking God’s wisdom.  Did you know that it’s available to all of us, for the asking?   

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:5-8 (NIV)

Wisdom

Can you imagine what it would be like to be filled with just a fraction of God’s wisdom?

Quite often I find myself praying for God’s direction, asking Him to guide me through life. As you know, sometimes when we receive directions from others, even from God, we have a difficult time discerning what we have heard.

If we ask God for direction, He may answer by giving us information. If we seek His face, and pray for His wisdom, He will answer us by giving us His mind! What a gift He promises to us…if we will only ask Him for it, with the unwavering belief, the unwavering faith that He will answer!

Filled with His wisdom, the direction that we seek will be easier to find. So will guidance in relationships, business decisions, career moves…every choice that we have to make in life. Again, I ask, can you imagine what it would be like to be filled with a fraction of God’s wisdom?

So…

I entered Twenty-Days of Prayer with the expectation that God would give me some of His wisdom. And I only asked that He would give me what my mind was ready to receive. If God had given me the full dose of what He has shown me in the past three years all at once, I could not have handled it. I don’t believe that any of us can comprehend the depth of His wisdom. Our minds simply are not big enough to wrap themselves around “all of God.” (That’s definitely a topic for another day!)

I can’t tell you the final outcome of this period of prayer and fasting because there are 12 more days to go. I can tell you that I believe that God is taking me to a new level spiritually, and it’s an incredible, almost overwhelming feeling. I feel His presence with me every waking hour, and the fire in me that burns for Him is white-hot! God is amazing.

In Prayer.

May I make a suggestion to you? If you haven’t already done so, the next time that you are in prayer, why don’t you take your attention off of a specific need or lack of direction, and instead ask God to give you His wisdom, to fill you with His mind? He promises us that He will.

See you next week.