The Seed of Hope

Apart from Him too...

I’m not really fond of continuing a message from the previous week, but there are a few “afterthoughts” from last week’s post that I simply can’t ignore. Some of what I want to share with you today came to me in the couple of days that followed my humble offering to you. Call it a “post-post self-discovery”, if you will. The rest of it came from reflecting on a handful of the comments that many of you graciously shared with me.

I have to tell you that my wife Jackie wasn’t in favor of last week’s message. As a matter of fact, I could sense that she was really opposed to it, but didn’t have the heart to come right out and tell me. You see, I’d wanted to write about my addiction several times before. And each time she had talked me out of it. Putting myself in her position, I could see how having your spouse openly declare a prior addiction to cocaine would be a bit embarrassing. But here’s the thing: Jackie wasn’t being protective of herself or her reputation. Quite the contrary…she was trying to protect my reputation! What would people think of me if they knew that cocaine was my constant companion during an eighteen month period over twenty years ago? Would they understand, or would they condemn me for it? Revealing some of my past might hinder my chances of doing, well, doing whatever it is that God put me here to do!

Tongue in cheek, I told Jackie that I wasn’t planning on running for President, that I certainly wasn’t going to be elected as the Pope, that being fifty-seven entitled me to share what’s on my mind, and in light of the fact that we’re self-employed, there was no chance of me getting fired!

Being the amazingly supportive wife that Jackie is, and knowing what I was thinking, she simply said, “If God put this on your heart to share it, who am I to tell you not to do it?”

I took a deep breath, offered a silent prayer, and then tapped the “Enter” key on my laptop, sending my post into cyberspace, for all to see.

One week later…

All of the comments and e-mails that I’ve received since last week’s post have been very supportive. Before I continue with what’s on my mind, I want to share some of what was on your minds…

“Thank you for sharing that powerful testimony. God is so good…praise Him for freeing you.”              Susie

“I love you Sam, for your willingness to share your vulnerabilities. It makes us willing to do the same because of your example. I know God will use this post in a mighty way!!!!”   Sharon

Wow! He who the Son hath set free is free indeed! Our God is an awesome God!”  Linda

“In the blink of an eye…I fully understand the power of His restoration and liberation. Amazing.”          Melanie

“…God can set us free from the burdens that capture our life. Amazingly, it’s as simple as asking. In the darkest hours, He can provide that flicker of light that we need so desperately. Why not ask?”   Jane

“Why are we amazed when God performs a miracle such as the one He gave to you? Our Creator God has the power to turn this whole world upside down and inside out!”   Donna

As always, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. Your feedback is the fuel that feeds the fire!

My thoughts…

What pleased me the most was that you recognized not what I did, but what God did for me…I’ve told you many, many times that God has performed miracle upon miracle in my life. This was yet another example of one of those miracles. In the offering of a simple prayer, and in the blink of an eye, God loosened the deadly grip of this powerful addiction on my life. How awesome indeed is our God!

Okay, I’ll admit that my admission of a cocaine addiction to you took a bit of courage…courage that was readily supplied to me by the Holy Spirit. If you will ask to receive the Holy Spirit each day, you will be amazed that the seemingly insurmountable challenges in your life get smaller and smaller.

I’ve shared the story of my addiction with several people before, and almost without fail, the reaction to my revelation has been the same: rather than look down on me, as one might expect, most admire me for overcoming my weakness and my courage for sharing my darkest secrets so openly.

There is a certain strength, or perhaps it’s a sense of relief, to be gained by sharing our problems with others. When we do, we often find that we’re not alone in what we’ve done…everyone has a “past”…has done things that they regret. Did I think that I was the only person in the world who had done cocaine or had been divorced? Of course not! It was just the guilt, or perhaps shame for what I’d done that got me more than anything. Of course, now I don’t have to worry about carrying those secrets around with me. I’ve shared them with you, and the world, so I don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about them! I’ve put that baggage down.

Sadly, I believe that many of us try to forget some of the things that we’ve done in the past, either from the need to hide our actions from others, or perhaps even worse, from ourselves. Here’s the thing: we never forget the bad stuff. Ever. Oh, we may wrap it up in a cocoon and store it away in the darkest corners of our minds, kidding ourselves, convincing ourselves, that whatever it was never happened. But the memory is always there, waiting for the right opportunity to haunt us again. And again. And again.

You know what? Satan loves this! I’m telling you that he does. You see, when we try to hide the past from ourselves, we never reach the point of forgiving ourselves for our mistakes. And that inability to forgive stands between us and God. If we can’t look into our own faces, how could we ever deem ourselves worthy enough to look into the face of God? How could we possibly hope to have a complete relationship with Him?

Jesus carried the cross, put Himself on it, and took those nails so that we would be forgiven for the sin that we come into this world with; the sin of Adam and Eve. He wiped the slate clean for us. Everything else, everything else…every sin, every evil thought, word, and deed, will be forgiven simply for the asking.

Well, if it’s as simple as asking, what stands in our way?

We do.

We are our own worst enemy. We trick ourselves into believing that we can never be forgiven for what we’ve done in the past, so we just try to forget that it ever happened.

Don’t try to forget what you’ve done in the past. Accept it! Lay claim to it. Own it. And then?

If you haven’t done so, ask God to forgive you. Then forgive yourself. Put it down, that “junk” that you’ve been carrying around for months, perhaps years. You were younger, more foolish, and not so wise. That was then…this is now…let go of the past.

Then run to God with the exuberance of a child rushing into his Daddy’s arms. Do you remember what that felt like? You can have that feeling again, if you can get past yourself.

God is waiting for you. What are you waiting for?

See you next week.

Make it Count.

Okay, I’m not trying to start 2010 on a somber note, but what if I told you that today was going to be your last one; as in being alive. What would your reaction be? You might give me an incredulous look, chuckle a bit, and then go on about your business, never giving my statement another thought.

But what if GOD told you that this day was gonna be your last one?

Would your plans for the day change? Would His statement change not just what you were going to do, but how you were going to do it? Would you try to make your last day “count” more than all the days that came before it? I wonder…

Every time.

If you been around myself and my wife Jackie for any appreciable amount of time, you know that every time I walk out the door to run an errand…every time I say goodbye…every time I’m going to be apart from her, I give her a kiss. EVERY time. If we’re in the salon, it may not be anything more than a peck on the cheek, but I always kiss her goodbye. And each night before we go to sleep? You guessed it; a goodnight kiss.

You may be laughing at the notion of what I just told you, and that’s okay; most people do. Until I explain why…

The world is full of eternal optimists (the glass is half full) and eternal pessimists (the glass is half empty). Somewhere in the middle of these two groups are the eternal realists (just look at the amount of water in the glass).

Most people consider me to be the eternal optimist, but I think of myself as a bit if an anomaly; a freak, if you will. I expect to be awesome every day, and I can count the days that I wasn’t awesome in 2009 on one hand. But I also know that striving for awesome each day comes with a price. Oh, there are days when I’d just as soon settle for having a bad day, which would require a lot less effort, but “I” won’t let “me” settle for that. I know that the good stuff doesn’t always come easy.

And I realize that while I’m enjoying my life, enjoying being me, more than I ever have before, it could be over in the blink of an eye. You see, we’re not promised that we’ll have a tomorrow. For that matter, we’re not promised that we’ll have the next five minutes…

So, the optimist in me looks for the good in every situation, and finds something to be grateful for every day, and loves being alive, and always tries to find a reason to smile, and knows that God is gonna give me everything that I need in life…

While the realist in me knows that life is a precious gift that cannot be taken for granted, and that this day may be the last one that God has planned for me.

So…

I give Jackie a kiss before I walk out the door, knowing that it may be the last one. And I try to live each day to the fullest. And I look for the best, even on the worst days. And I try to make every day count; for myself, for Jackie and our family, for our salon, and most importantly, for God.

There’s a piece of paper taped to the inside of the front counter in our hair salon that reads:

CELEBRATE TODAY!

I don’t know how many members of our team take notice of the message on the paper; it’s been there for a couple of years now. Quite honestly, the primary reason that I put it there originally was for me, more so than for any other member of our team. I found that I was focusing more on the annoyances and “irritants” in our salon than on all the other good things that were happening around us, and in me. Consequently, my life, and everything in it had started “going South.”

From that point forward, I made a commitment to appreciate each day, and everything that I had, and to give not 75, or 85, or even 95% of what I had in me, but 100%. Every day. The results have been…well, they’ve been humbling.

And you?

Okay, back to my original questions: What if God told you that today was going to be your last day? Would you do things differently? Would you try to make it count?

For many of us, with the new year comes a new set of “resolutions”; ways to make ourselves better, or to look better, or to feel better. Many of us attack these resolutions with fierce determination and make them a permanent part of our lives. Others start out the year with good intentions, but for one or more reasons abandon our quests at some point down the road.

If you’re wanting to make a resolution for this year, but are undecided, may I suggest one for you?

Pretend that this is your last day. NO, not with a sense of impending doom or urgency! Just appreciate it for what it is, and make it, whatever it is, count! Go for it! Reach for it! Believe it! Savor it! Have fun with it! Relish it.

You see, when you give every day your best, you feel better about yourself. And you feel better about the world around you, and the people in it. And you feel better about life. And life becomes, well, it becomes fun, even when it’s hard.

Just make it count. For God. For those you love. For yourself.

See you next week.

I stand in Awe

I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on 2009, trying to come up with a message to share with you today…

In doing so, I’ve come to the conclusion that rather than focusing on one particular event, thought, or “discovery”, I want to talk about the past year in its entirety. I want to look at it as one “body of work”, rather than 365 individual segments.

I’m lead to share this particular Chapter and Verse with you:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

2009 was quite possibly the best year of my life. And I’ll tell you, it wasn’t because of money, or material possessions, or exotic trips, or any of the things that we normally associate with having a “good year.”

Every day of this year, without fail, I’ve gone after God with all that is in me! I have not just knocked, but banged on His door…seeking His face…wanting to know more about Him…being a soldier of Christ…being a light that shines…being everything that God intended for me to be. I have asked…

He has answered…

God has blessed me, graced me, humbled me, with spiritual growth, with wisdom, with a deepened relationship with Him (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), with a new perspective as to who and what He is, with a new circle of friends that have helped me in my quest more than they will ever know, with self-discoveries about myself and who I am, with the tenacity to keep getting up every time I stumble, with an amazingly supportive wife, and with a passion, fire, and love for Him that will never die.

I have already shared much of what I have learned this year with you...and lest I forget…

I am humbled by your presence. I want to thank you for taking this journey with me, for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. If I have touched your mind, or your heart, or your spirit, in any way, then it has made sitting in front of this laptop during everyone one of those fifty-two weeks of 2009 worth the effort.

When The Seed of Hope was launched on October 31, 2008, I made a promise to God that until the fire went out, or the words ran out, I would always write for Him.

I stand in awe; I live life to bless You. I sing a new song; the song of the rescued. Light of the world, shine in my heart like the rise of the dawn. While I stand in awe.

I am amazed, Lord who am I that You are mindful of me? When angels bow down, and heaven declares that You are God; You’re my God. I stand in awe.

“Song of the Rescued” Justin Bradshaw 2009

God is good.

See you next year.