The Seed of Hope

Gettin' in The Game

I’ve never made a “bucket list”; you know, a list of things that I’d like to do before I kick the bucket! I imagine that when the movie The Bucket List was released in 2007, thousands, if not millions of people grabbed pen and paper and began to make their own list. Perhaps you have a bucket list, tucked away in your mind, on a sheet of paper, or perhaps in your computer.

Oh, there are several things that I’d like to do before I die, including driving from I’ve the U.S. East coast to the West coast in my new Corvette (which I don’t have yet), spending a couple of weeks in Australia, and visiting a South American rain forest. I’d like to do all of these in the company of my wife and best friend, Jackie. Time will tell if God has any of them planned for me.

There’s another thing that would most assuredly be on my bucket list. I’ve tried to do this one before; in fact, I’m constantly in search of it. Ah, there’s another of those mysterious “its.” I often refer to it as being anything of importance that is missing in my life. “Pretty broad stroke of the brush”, you may be thinking, in my definition of it. But I’m not alone, you know; the rock group Queen released a song titled I Want it All (and I want it now!). It is also the title of a book written by Stephen King. I guess it was missing from their lives, too! Perhaps I should suggest to Steven Spielberg that he make a movie called The It List!  

I’m sorry…back to the subject of this post.

It has proven to be very elusive, largely do to the fact that I can’t purchase a ticket for it, or mark it on my calendar as a “save the date” kind of thing. For the longest time I didn’t even know if it existed…come to think of it, I’m still not sure that it does.

So just what is It?

The it to which I’m referring is, quite simply, peace of mind.

In referring to peace of mind, I’m not talking about being concerned with or worrying about situations that I face in life. I’m talking about the manner in which I approach every aspect of my life…

A couple of months ago I was sitting in the “break room” in the back of our hair salon having a conversation with Steve Good, a sales manager with one of the vendors that we deal with. We were talking about the salon industry in general, and more specifically about our salon, Salon M². It seems that while many hair salons are struggling to keep their doors open, our salon, against all odds, continues to grow at a remarkable rate. Knowing that I would give all the credit to God, Steve didn’t bother to ask why I thought we were growing.

There was one exchange between the two of us that I’d like to share with you:

Steve: So Sam, what is your “vision” for your salon? What would you like for you and your team to accomplish in the future?

Never missing a beat, I responded “I want to own the best and most profitable salon in Birmingham. Best being defined in not just what we do, but the manner in which we do it. And most profitable being defined as every member of my team making a good living.”

Steve: “What do you use as a yardstick to measure your success? How do know if Salon M² is one of the best and most profitable salons?”  

Me: “There isn’t a yardstick…and I have no way of knowing if we’re where I want us to be. So every day I come to the salon determined to make our salon the best, because regardless of what we’re doing in comparison to other salons, I don’t think that we’re there yet. In addition, there are a few members of our team that are struggling to live comfortably. And because of that, I’ll keep pushing, and mentoring, and urging, and doing whatever it takes to make my vision for this salon a reality.”

Later that night…

I was recalling my conversation with Steve, and I realized that in many ways I hold myself to the same standards that I hold our salon to. Come to think of it, they may be even more rigid. And again, I don’t have a yardstick to measure my success in life. Oh, I don’t mean success in terms of dollars and cents, material possessions, titles, awards, or anything else that we tend to use as benchmarks.

I’m talking about being a good Christian, and being a soldier of Christ, and being a light that shines, and being bold in my faith, and being a prayer warrior, and being a good mentor, and using the gifts that God has given me to reach out to others. I’m talking about being the very best that I can be in everything that I do; every day. Why aim so high?

Because during the first 53 years of my life I didn’t take aim at all; I always settled for less. And quite honestly, I accepted what I got with a lot of bitterness. And get this: I wasn’t bitter with God, or with life, or with the people in my life. I was bitter at myself for not having the right stuff. Well, it wasn’t that I didn’t have the right stuff…I had it, alright, but I didn’t know it.

“It’s your turn.”

Imagine a football player sitting on the bench waiting on his turn to get in the game. Well, I’d been sittin’ on the bench all my life, and I figured that’s where I’d be for the rest of my life…on that bench, watching everyone else, waitin’ for my chance, but not really believing that it was gonna come.

When I awoke one morning in August of 2005 it was as if God had tapped me on the shoulder and said “Okay, Maniscalco. You’ve been waiting a long time for this. I’m gonna give you a little shot of courage and put you in the game. Here’s your chance. I’m putting the ball in your hands. Let’s see what you do with it.”

Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I took that ball from God, got used to the feel of it, and took off running. First, in our business. Then in my personal life. Then in my walk of faith. Then in sharing that faith with others.

And an amazing thing happened! The harder and faster I ran, the better I got at it…and I received more opportunities from God to get into the game, using the gifts that He had given me.

And something even more amazing happened!

God began to shower me with His blessings, in our business and in my relationships with Jackie, with other people, and strangely enough, myself (yes, we all have relationships with ourselves…I’ll save that for another day!). And in the midst of all of these blessings I became a better Christian, a better follower, and a better leader. God has allowed me to become a better man.

At the end of the day, when all the votes are counted, and all things are considered…

I guess that I’m not really chasing peace of mind, after all. I live to serve God…I love being a Christian, a light that shines, a channel of His peace, and a soldier of Christ. I love being bold in my faith…writing about Him…talking about Him. My life been enriched beyond measure by His constant presence, and I want people to know of His goodness. I want to be the best person that can be, not for myself, but for Him.

I’m runnin’ with that ball, and I’m not gonna stop. Ever. Don’t want to, either; I’m having too much fun!

When the game clock of my life is winding down, and I cross that goal line for the last time, tired from the running but grateful for the opportunity, I’m gonna give that game ball back to God with a smile on my face and joy in my heart! And then I will come to know peace of mind.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!                                                                     MATTHEW 25:23 (NIV)

See you next week!

The Application

A couple of weeks ago I was in the process of filling out an application for 20:20, a ministry program offered through Church of The Highlands here in Birmingham. No, I don’t know that I want to be a Pastor…but then again, I’m not sure that I don’t want to be one, either! I’ve felt for some time now that if nothing else, this program would better prepare me to serve others, so I thought “Why not?”

Is there anything in your life that might come up as a questionable issue? If yes, please explain.

That was the first question on the application of any consequence. (Those prior to this one dealt with basic information, church history, and work history.) I quickly rifled through the first fifty-six years of my life…no murders, thefts, expulsions, or felonies. Not even a misdemeanor! As I moved the cursor on my laptop to the box marked NO, I paused for a moment, then checked the box marked YES, and explained…

At the age of 21 I made an error in judgment and asked the wrong person to spend her life with me. Fifteen years and two children later, the marriage ended in divorce. Does that fall within the realm of “questionable”?

Do you or have you ever smoked? If yes, please explain.

Yes. But by the grace of God I quit smoking six years ago.

Do you or have you ever consumed alcoholic beverages? If yes, please explain.

Yes. In college I was a heavy drinker. Now, I’ll have a drink or two in social settings.

Do you or have you ever used any illegal drugs? If yes, please explain.

Yes. I was in high school and college in the late 60’s and early 70’s (the Stone-d Age in Birmingham). In my late teens and as a young adult I dabbled in several illegal drugs, but it’s been years since I’ve done anything.

Have you ever been convicted of a felony? If yes, please explain.

NO! Thank God. I finally get to respond NO! I’m not a felon!

Okay, I have to admit that this really wasn’t my answer…I mean, I’m not a felon, and I’m glad of that. It’s just that I was embarrassed about all the yes responses, and by that point I was grateful to be able to say no to anything!

My euphoria quickly turned to sadness when I realized that my answers may preclude my enrollment in the 20:20 program.

A different perspective…

Being the eternal optimist, I closed my eyes and mentally searched for one nugget of “awesome” amidst the pile of rubble…because I believe that something good comes from every bad situation. I needed to take a step back and to the right, and look at my application with a fresh set of eyes. If I looked hard enough, I’d find that nugget.

I found TWO!

Nugget #1

God has been with me through all the crap that I’ve waded through in my life. I’m reminded of the poem “Footprints in The Sand”…you know, the one about the guy that complained to God that there had many times in his life when he felt that God had left his side? That he had been alone on his journey because his footsteps were the only ones on the beach, only to realize that the single footprints were of God carrying him? If you haven’t read it, I strongly urge you to do so; it’ll be worth your while.

What I’m trying to say is this: It’s no coincidence that I survived smoking, alcohol, drugs, and a failed marriage. And if you’ve read our “story” (see the page A Seed Was Planted), you know that it was no coincidence that I was able to change the dynamics in my life in August of 2005. I survived, and persevered, and changed because that was God’s plan for me. And all those times when that I didn’t have the “right stuff”, He just picked me up in His arms and carried me! He still does on those occasions when I’m too weak to do it on my own.

Nugget #2

I’ve come to realize that while I may not be qualified to be a Pastor, I can offer counsel to others in broken relationships, smoking, alcohol, and drugs. I can be an example of what you can accomplish in your life if you will make a commitment to change, using your God-given talents. I can be a channel of His peace, a carrier of His Word, and a source of His light, simply by sharing the news of what He has done for me. And I can be a witness to God’s almighty power, the grace given to us by His Son Jesus, and the amazing gifts bestowed upon us by the Holy Spirit!

The Bottom Line…

Here’s the thing…we all have things that we’ve done in the past, things that we may be ashamed of. What’s most important is not that we made mistakes, but that we learned from those mistakes. And that we pass what we’ve learned along to our kids, friends, colleagues, and anyone else that may benefit from our experiences. I believe that this too is part of God’s plan for us. Don’t walk in shame because of what is in your past. Walk instead in gratitude that He carried you through those tough times, that you learned from your mistakes, and that your past is exactly that!

See you next week!

...about Prejudice

The word prejudice is derived from the Latin noun praejudicium, which means “damage from a judgment or an opinion.”

Knowing the meaning of the word prejudice makes me uncomfortable just looking at. It’s an ugly word, not in the way it is spelled, or the way that it’s pronounced, but in what it connotes.

…damage from a judgment or opinion

“Damage” has its origins in the Latin noun damnum, which means “loss or harm resulting from injury to person, property, or reputation.

I’m not trying to give you a vocabulary lesson here…I am trying to “set the table” for today’s post, which is prejudice towards people.

Have you ever been the victim of prejudice? I have, though probably not to the same degree that many others have…

Many years ago, when I was seven or eight years old, I was riding in the car with my Dad. We were going to play Bingo in Bessemer, a suburb on the Western edge of Birmingham. It was nighttime, and as we were driving down the highway (this was before the Interstate system) I noticed a huge fire in the distance on the right hand side of the road.

As we got closer, I turned to my Dad with eyes that were as big as Silver Dollars, and asked “Dad, what’s that fire, and what are those people doing?” Dad took one look and slammed on the brakes, bringing our car to an immediate halt. Then he did a u-turn in the midst of traffic and sped off in the opposite direction! Sensing that my Dad was upset…seeing that he was upset, I again questioned him about what I had seen, but this time with a bit more urgency. His only reply was that “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Later” meant a couple of years later!  

You may have already guessed it, but what I had seen was a Ku Klux Klan (KKK) rally, complete with the white hooded robes and the burning cross!

When I learned what it was, I was a bit confused. I had heard of the KKK, but I thought that they hated black people. I wasn’t black, and neither was my dad, so why was he in such a hurry to get out of there?

Okay, are you ready for this?

The majority of Italians that settled in Birmingham at the turn of the Twentieth Century opened small grocery stores in…you guessed it, black neighborhoods. In fact, most of them lived in small homes attached to their stores, as did my grandparents.

Now you’re gonna have a hard time wrapping your brain around this line of reasoning…

Before I continue, I have to tell you that I won’t give even the memory of those Klansmen the satisfaction of using the slang terms that they used in describing my ancestors and the black people here in Birmingham; Italians and People of Color will have to suffice.

So anyway, the KKK reasoned that since Italians lived in the black neighborhoods, and sold them food, well, they were no better than the blacks that they served! It turns out that many crosses were burned in the front yards of Italian homes during those times. What I had sensed in my Dad that night was fear for our safety. And that was the only time that I saw my Dad afraid in all the years that I knew him.

Years later, when I was in high school, I had a couple of doors slammed in my face by fathers who didn’t want their daughters dating an Italian.

And until the Bruno family opened a chain of supermarkets in Birmingham in the 60’s and 70’s that caught on like wildfire (giving Italians in business respectability), Italians were banned from joining the long established, upper crust country clubs in Birmingham.

Like I said, I’ve experienced some prejudice, but it pales in comparison to what others have had to endure.

So what causes prejudice in our country? What is it that instills not just discomfort, but dislike for, and in some cases, hate for another human being? I think the answer to these questions can be summed up with one word:

FEAR

Yes, fear. Not fear of skin color. Or fear of a different language. Or fear of a different culture. Those are factors, because we have a tendency to be afraid of things that are “different.” But I don’t believe that’s the primary, underlying factor for prejudice.

It is this man’s humble opinion that prejudice in our country was born, quite simply, in the fear of not having enough! Think about for a minute…

When President Lincoln abolished slavery (thank God for that!) the slave owners were upset, but not just because they were losing free laborers, servants, and chambermaids! They were upset because those freed slaves were gonna get some of their land…and there may not be enough of it.

Look beyond the post Civil War/slavery years to the 19^th and 20^th Centuries, when there was a tremendous influx of immigrants coming to America from other countries. I mean no disrespect here, but if you weren’t a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, you were the victim of prejudice. The Italians, Irish, Germans, Poles, and Jews were all looked down on when they came to this country.

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, it was still the Blacks that were the principal targets of prejudice. Beginning with the 70’s it was the Vietnamese, the Koreans, the Chinese, the Mexicans, and the Arabs (I may be a bit off in the order of appearance, and I may have omitted a couple of nationalities).

As each nationality got “rooted in” and took their place in our society, in the fabric of our country, they joined the ranks of the prejudiced.

Look, I know that in talking about immigrants, I may be touching on a sensitive area here. I want to make it clear that I am not talking about illegal immigrants; I’m talking about people who enter this country the right way and become citizens of the U.S., okay?

We worry about not having enough jobs, enough insurance, enough Social Security benefits, enough of whatever it is. Granted, I’m concerned about all of these things. After all, I have a wife, two married sons, and two grandchildren (so far). Don’t you think that I’m concerned about what the future holds for them?

Two things…

I have two thoughts on this prejudice issue…

Every person on this earth is a child of God, one of his creations. They have as much a right to be on this earth as you do. So who are we to look down at any individual?

He answered: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all you mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself.”  LUKE 10:27 (NIV)

In regards to that “having enough”? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again and again: God has always provided me with everything that I need. And I believe that He will always provide me with what I need, even if I don’t think that I’ve got enough of it!

That’s part of our faith in Him, isn’t it? It’s that belief that He will always take care of His children. If you’ve been blessed by being a parent, can you imagine turning your back on your child? Why would you think that God would? He doesn’t see color or different cultures, and doesn’t hear different languages. He only sees the faces and hears the voices of His kids!

See you next Monday!

sam@theseedofhope.com