The Seed of Hope

In a Box

In a Box

It’s five o’clock in the morning and I’ve hauled myself out of my warm, toasty, comfortable, bed, and the company of my wife Jackie to sit in front of this laptop and write this post for The Seed of Hope.

I’m a little aggravated because I’ve been trying to write this thing all week long and I’ve had neither the time nor the inspiration to do so. Oh, I’ve had the desire to write, because, as I’ve said before, I love sharing what God has done in my life. Be that as it may, until this point, it’s just not been there; nothing.

There is something that I want to tell you about, something that’s really good, but I feel as though I should “set the table” for it, and in order to do that I must first talk about something that’s a bit uncomfortable.

It’s what I often refer to as the “box of life”, and it contains many smaller boxes of various shapes and sizes. The thing about these boxes is that, much like life itself, they are a mixture of easy and difficult, bad and good, bitter and sweet.

Boxes

There’s the box of “conventional thinking”, and it controls many of the decisions that we make in life. This box is usually representative of our parent’s ways of thinking, the values that they instilled in us as children, and a bit of our own personalities.

There’s the “family box”, which includes spouses, children, and parents. This box contains relationships built on and surrounded by love. It is because of that love that when problems arise (and they do), this box also holds the most amount of hurt.

There’s the “job box”, which includes the careers we’ve chosen, and all the responsibilities (and quite often headaches) that come with it.

The “box of limitations” is a good one. It’s the box we dwell in that tells us that we have limitations, that we’re not good enough, that we’re not capable of doing something, or not worthy of it. I spent years in this box.

Then there’s the “how did I get myself in this situation?” box. It contains things that we agreed to do for others, situations that we’ve put ourselves in, and responsibilities that we’ve agreed to take on. I find myself in this box quite frequently. As a matter of fact, as I was getting out of bed this morning to write this post I came to the realization that in making a promise to myself to write a post every Monday morning, I had unconsciously put myself in yet another box!

I’m sure that there are many more boxes that I’ve failed to mention. You can probably relate in some way to all of those that I’ve listed, and even add to that list. Like I mentioned earlier, what I was trying to do was set the table for the next box that I want to talk about, and it’s definitely my favorite. It is….

The God box.

I know, I know, that term sounds almost sacrilegious, doesn’t it? I could’ve called it “the religion box”, because it does contain religion, or what I consider my faith to be as it pertains to religion. But that’s the thing.

It’s not about religion at all. It’s about God. And yes, there is a difference between religion and God, just as there is a difference between religion and spirituality.

You see, I spent years in the God box. In this box with me was everything that I’d learned in twelve years of religion class, in a church that was steeped in tradition. I knew what I should do, and what I shouldn’t do, and when I should do it, and when I shouldn’t.

I didn’t know the Bible, but I knew what was in it. I knew about Adam and Eve, their fall from grace, and that Jesus came to restore that grace. I knew right from wrong. I knew the Ten Commandments. I could recite the Lord’s Prayer frontwards and backwards.

I knew what faith was because it was taught to me. Got a problem? Pray to God. Need something? Go see God. Want a miracle? Get on your knees. Want to go to heaven? Be a good boy.

Do you get what I’m saying here? I knew all the right stuff. And I knew most of the answers to most of the questions.

Questions.

I want to ask you a few questions….

Do you believe that you can have a real relationship with a living God?

Do you believe that God is all-forgiving; that there is nothing that you can’t be forgiven for?

Do you believe that God will provide you with everything you need?

Do you feel the Joy of God’s presence in your life every day?

Do you look forward to going to church, or do you attend out of obligation or fear?

Do you believe that with God, all things are possible?

There’s so many more questions that I could pose to you right now. Here’s the thing: If you can’t truthfully answer yes to all of those questions, there’s something missing in your relationship with God. Believe me, I’ve been there, done that, and walked that walk for too many years.

Get out of the box!

Do whatever you have to do!

Work towards having a relationship with God. Go after Him every day! Invite Him into your life!

Talk to him, just as you would your father. Don’t be afraid to ask Him questions, or to share what’s on your heart with Him. Don’t you think that He already knows what’s on your mind?

Believe that He is a mighty God, and that He wants to do mighty things in your life.

You want to know all there is about God, and who He is, and His plan for us? Look in the Bible. Everything else, and I mean everything else, that you’ve been taught about God or religion, or what you should or shouldn’t do, are things written by men for men.

Try a different church. It’ll be scary, but you’ll get over it. You never know what you may find.

Get out of your religion box. It won’t be easy. It’s hard to set aside certain things that have been ingrained in our minds since we were children. Ask God for his help in allowing you to see, think, and feel what’s most important to Him, and what will become most important to you.

When you do get out of that box, and it’s both my prayer and belief that you will, you’re gonna realize something that has eluded you for years: God will be there with you in all those other boxes, helping you in all of them.

Oh, and there’s one more thing that you’ll discover, and it’s the best one of all…

God is not in that box at all. He’s in your heart.

See you next week.

THE little THINGS

The Little Things

For the past nine and a half months, my wife Jackie and I have been a home sponsor to Stephen Popadich, a young man that has been enrolled in 24/7, a personal growth, leadership, and ministry program offered by the Church of the Highlands here in Birmingham.

Having Stephen in our home has been an absolute blessing for Jackie and me, in more ways than I would even attempt to describe. He’s become a part of our family during his time with us, and neither of us has been looking forward to the day when he leaves us to head back to his home in North Carolina.

That day, sadly, is today. While both of us are excited for, and proud of, Stephen as he prepares to launch a 24/7 program for his church this August, we are saddened by his departure. I think that in some ways we’re reminded of the days that our sons Brian and Christian left home.

Today, as I reflect on Stephen’s time with us, I don’t want to talk about his departure. Instead, I want to talk about something that his arrival brought into our home.

RULES

24/7 is a rigorous program that strengthens the mind, body, and soul. Though I’ve never been in the military, I would liken 24/7 to a spiritual version of boot camp.

As with all programs of this nature, 24/7 came with a bunch of rules! Dress codes, curfew, promptness, and submitting to spiritual authorities were among a long list of do’s and don’ts given to the students.

I’ve always believed that in order to be an effective leader, one must first learn to be a follower. Bearing that in mind, I was of the opinion that the curriculum and rules given to the students would definitely increase the odds of doing exactly that.

There were a couple of rules, however, that I didn’t totally understand…

First, the kids (well, they’re actually young adults ranging from their late teens to middle twenties) couldn’t watch an R rated movie (or worse, of course). At first glance, you might think that there would still be a host of popular movies for them to watch, and you would be correct in your thinking. But you’d also be surprised (at least I was) at the number of box office hits that were on the forbidden list because of “adult content”, i.e. violence, partial nudity, language, etc.

Secondly, secular music (classified as any music other than sacred, or church) of any kind was completely out of bounds! I have to tell you, I could understand some hip hop, rap, heavy metal, and reggae music being questionable. But all secular music? I found that to be a bit extreme.

Like I said, I didn’t understand the why of some of the rules, but it wasn’t my program, and I wasn’t one of the students, so what difference would it make to me in regards to what they could or couldn’t watch or listen to?

A Lot

When Jackie and I made the decision to be home sponsors last July, we also made a commitment to our yet unnamed student to offer more than just room and board. We viewed home sponsorship as not only a means of serving God and our church, but more importantly as an opportunity to be mentors to an individual that had set aside ten months of his life to grow in Christ.

We also wanted, with his permission, to share his journey with him. Something told us that in doing so we would somehow be served in our attempts to serve this young man. It’s what I like to refer to as “being blessed by be a blessing to others.”  

Sharing that journey with him included observing many of the rules that were placed upon him, including what we watched and what we listened to.

So, beginning on September 1^st of last year, few, if any R rated movies were viewed in our home, and nothing but worship music was played in our home or in our car. It didn’t matter if Stephen was around or not; we honored what he was going through because that was part of our commitment to him.

Well, to quote authors Shevelove and Gelbart, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Our home became even more peaceful than it was before. The absence of questionable language and music in our home filled me with a sense of, not necessarily being in a church, but being in a safe haven…a sanctuary, if you will. Taking those things out of our home made more room for God’s presence in it, or at least it did for me.

And something else happened that I want to share with you; but first, a confession. I used to have this really bad habit of cursing, especially when I was angry. When I began this “walk” a couple of years ago, I made a conscious effort to…no, it was more than that…I made a promise to myself to quit cursing.

I wasn’t applying for sainthood or anything like that. I wasn’t trying to be better than anyone else. And I didn’t believe that cursing would keep me out of heaven. It’s just that among the many things that I strive for each day is to be Christ-like, and I have a hard time believing that Jesus ever cursed, even casually or in fun, so I didn’t want cursing to be a part of my vocabulary. I want to remove any barriers that stand between me and God, and I believe that cursing, for whatever reason, is one of those barriers.

Well, through the years I’d almost totally eliminated cursing. Almost, because every once in a while I’d let something fly, not because it accomplished anything, but because, I don’t know, old habits die hard. And because, for a split second, I took my eyes off of God.

So all this time that Stephen had been with us, and we weren’t watching questionable movies or listening to secular music, I hadn’t cursed. Call it a coincidence, if you’d like.

Until…

The calendar year for the 24/7 program ended on Saturday, May 29^th, and with it, all of the mandatory rules for the students. That following Monday night we watched an R rated movie. No violence. No nudity. Definitely contained questionable….check…make that “definitely contained offensive” language.

I don’t know how Stephen felt about the situation, but I was a bit embarrassed by it, but didn’t have the nerve to say anything. Knowing him, he probably felt the same way.

Here’s the worst part: The very next day I probably cursed three or four times. Oh, I didn’t really say anything that bad, but the fact remains that I cursed. Trying to downplay it would be like saying that God doesn’t mind me hitting someone if I don’t hit them that hard.

The good part about all of this is that I feel so badly about it what I did. What some may consider being a small offense against God was, curiously enough, a huge offense against me. I was ashamed of the fact that I had cursed, and if there is such a thing as “good shame”, well, that’s exactly what I felt.

So…

Will I ever watch another R rated movie? Probably so. Will I ever curse again? As much as I’d like to tell you that I never will, I’ve learned to never say never.

And I’ve learned yet another valuable lesson in life…

There are rules in life that we may not understand, or completely accept. We may even question the reason for their existence, or how they could possibly apply to us.

Perhaps they’re there to help us in our walk. Perhaps they help us to become better people. Perhaps, just perhaps, they help us to pay attention to the little things; the little things that help make us big.

See you next week.

The Answer

The Answer

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “Now I have put my words in your mouth. See today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and to tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” Jeremiah 1:9-10 NIV

Do you believe, as in the case of Jeremiah, that God can put words in your mouth? I’m not talking about putting thoughts in your head, but actually giving you something to say, and while you’re saying it, you’re wondering “Where did that come from?”

The first time this happened to me was in August of 2006, the day that I proclaimed myself to be a soldier of Christ. I believe with all that is in me that the Holy Spirit not only gave me the words to say, but the courage to say them. If you haven’t done so, I invite you to read The Tattoo, which was posted on 12/15/2008.

I most recently experienced this “God Phenomenon” again a couple of months ago, and that’s what I want to share with you today.

My wife Jackie and I own and operate Salon M², a hair salon, here in Birmingham. Since we opened our business in December of 2005, God has blessed us with financial success and surrounded us with an amazing group of people that work with us.

As it pertains to this story, it’s worth noting that during this period of time, our salon has become a ministry of sorts for me. I won’t even attempt to count the number of times that I’ve had the opportunity to share what God has done in my life, to offer counsel in areas that I’m qualified to do so, and of course, to pray for those in need.

Space

Almost a year ago a restaurant adjacent to our salon went out of business for financial reasons. Several months passed and the space was still unoccupied when Jackie and I began entertaining the notion of enlarging the salon. Our team had grown to the point that we actually had more stylists (thirteen) than we did stations (ten) for them to work at. We were tripping all over each other, and scheduling had become a nightmare!

I got in touch with our landlords to discuss the possibility of taking a portion of the available space next door. We kicked a few ideas around but never got down to serious negotiations.

Several more months elapsed and the space was still available, I guess because of the economy and the fear that accompanied it. After all, this probably wasn’t the most opportune time for someone to open a new business. While Jackie and I would talk about expanding the salon every once in a while, I don’t believe that either of us was sold on the idea of spending the money for the build-out and equipment, or the idea of signing another five year lease. We’re both fifty-seven, and while that’s not really old, the fact remains that Jackie owned her first salon at the tender age of sixteen! And me? I began working in my family’s mom & pop neighborhood grocery when I was nine years old. You do the math; both of us joined the working ranks a long time ago.

That, combined with the fact that we lost a couple of our senior stylists right after the first of the year, pretty much ended any talk of expansion.

Still, the space remained vacant, and every once in a while, our conversation would turn to the possibility of enlarging the salon. After all, it was available, and it wouldn’t take that much money, and we should take advantage of the opportunity because once it was gone it would be gone, and we expected that God would continue to bless us with growth in the salon, and why shouldn’t we just go out on yet another limb and just do it? Huh?

Well, because we just weren’t sure. There were as many reasons to proceed with the expansion as there were to leave things as they were. We just didn’t know what to do.

We began to pray for some clarity. Every day, for weeks, while in prayer I would ask God for some direction as to what we should do. I would ask, and then I would listen. Ask, and then listen. No answers.

One night, as I was drifting off to sleep, my thoughts turned once more to the space next door. I remember saying, “Look, God. I’m not asking for much; just a little insight. This may not be the best time, and it’s a bit of money, and we want to do things according to Your will. Can’t You just give me a little message, or some kind of sign, as to what we should do? An answer would be great.”

The very next morning Jackie and I were sitting at the kitchen table having coffee. I had just finished reading some passages from my One Year Bible, and we were both reflecting on what I’d read.

A moment of silence had passed when Jackie looks me straight in the eyes and says “There’s something that I need to tell you, and you’re not really gonna want to hear it.”

Thinking that I’d done something wrong, my immediate response was “Well, then don’t tell me!”

Acting as if she’d never heard my protest, or having elected to ignore it, she continued. “Look, I know that God is first, and The Seed of Hope is your passion. I know that you want to go out and speak to people, and change the salon industry, and take God’s message around the world. And you know that I support you 100% in whatever you want to do for God.”

“And?” I questioned.

“But, our salon has a different feeling when you’re in it. A lot of our guests love speaking with you. And the people that work with us have more accountability when you’re there. It’s just different when you’re not around.”

“And?” I asked again, having no idea as to where Jackie was going with this.

“So, the way I see it, if we can figure out a way for you to do your “God thing” and keep you in the salon, that’s definitely what we should do.”

Not a moment passed when I looked at Jackie and said “That’s it! We’re gonna move forward with expanding the salon, and we’ll add the extra stations, and we’ll add the color bar and make-up counter, just like we talked about. And right up in the front, next to our lobby, where that extra door is located, I’m gonna have a small office, and on the outside of the door, facing the parking lot, it’s gonna say The Seed of Hope Ministries.”

Jackie gave me this questioning look, and anticipating what was coming next, I simply said, “Look, until this moment I hadn’t thought about any of this. I don’t know what it means. All I know is that I last night I was asking God to give me a message as to what we should do, and this morning He gave it to me. He gave me an answer. And He put the words in my mouth.”

It’s two months later, and I’m sitting in that office that God told me to build for Him. Well, there have been two small changes to my vision.

I’m sitting, not in an office, but in a room that was built for fellowship, mentoring, counsel, and of course, prayer. There will be a small desk in the corner to accommodate my laptop, and three or four chairs in the center of the room facing one another. That’s it. A room for Him. And it’s right in the middle of a hair salon. Go figure.

I pray that this room will be a safe haven, a sanctuary, and a place of spiritual nourishment for those in need. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give me the right words to give to each person that sits in this room with me.

And the writing on the front door? It simply says:

The Seed of Hope

     A Gift for Tomorrow

If you’re ever in the neighborhood, please stop in. I’m always up for coffee and conversation, about God, about living, and about life. What else is there?

See you next week!